Art and life

Went for a walk today, have to keep up with my exercising, the plan is to lose weight slowly.  My sugar  is still
low like 61-192. It use to be 200-500. I say that's an improvement. My weight was 234 now it's 205. So I'm getting there just slowly. Everyone I talk to don't seem to be worried about their check, I trying not to worry and put it in God's hands.  I know it can go either way.  That's why I'm a little worried, God always answers your prayers, just that sometimes, he says "No". But than their will be another door you have to open to something new, I just don't know if I'm ready for another door.

This is another picture I drew years ago, I call it "Good Eating".

Art of Mines

This another of my drawings, It's Wonder Women, tell me if you like it or not.

Entertainment

I watched this movie last night called "Amazing Grace", a beautiful written movie about Mr. William Wilberforce.

who helped the slaves get their freedom. I loved this movie.

Light At The End

I feel that things will work out the way I plan them, we will both be in our own place by, this time next month.

I will be very happy when this happens, and so will Mr. A. he was calling our son the other day asking him to come pick him up to go to his house, got mix up on the days, we told him he have to wait on his check before he could move in, haven't paid the rent yet. So I believe he will be happy also to move. I don't worry much about Mr. A. these days like I use to, he taking good care of himself. I will be putting up some drawings of mines for all to see, I wish someone would tell me what they think of them.

Family

Bubba said that he's getting back to his old self, and I can see he is, I'm very happy for him.  He even said that he can see better out of his bad eye.  We will be separating next month, him to his house me to mines, and it's the best thing we can do for each other, we have known each other since I was 14 years old, and he was 24, we have a son together, who is 32 years old.  We are parting as friends, friends with respect for one another. There is no hurt feelings, no heart-brakes, no anger, sadness, or even joy. Just an understanding of what brought us to this point.  We have been through it all, you name it we went threw it, together. But I must say we never cheated on each other, not saying one of us or both didn't think about it. I care for him very much and hope that he finds love in his life.  I don;t have that feeling that I want to find love at all right now. I'm happy, and will be very happy to just be by-myself next month, I have plenty of plans.

I believe that everyone is going to get their checks on the first and the third next month, I think the government is

just trying to scare us, or they are lying about the dead line, just like they lied about we were running out of gas, and oil.  I hope I am right but we will all see come the first and third. I'm going continue being positive even if I check my bank and noting in there, I won't be sad, angry and negative about it, I will just make another plan to live my and know that God never left my side, and will show me the way.

Blessed And Know It

Went walking today, walked from my house to downtown, where I visited the Library, checked up some movies, and CD's.  Than looked up some records, found some on my mother.  After this walked over to visit my
sister, daughter and Aunt, who all were doing fine. Now at home, Bubba doing alright was cooking himself something to eat when I got back.

This is a picture I drew long ago, it's a Dragon.

Feeling good today I know I am blessed to be alive, have a place to live, and food to eat. Hate that that man decided to kill all the people the other day, hope they all had faith and God is with them. I'm taking life one second at a time believing that things will be alright even if I don't get my check. If I'm still alive I will do all I can to stay healthy, hopeful and depend on my God for my next step in life. I'm not done yet, got plenty to live for and plenty to do. Here's a drawing I did the other day, trying to get back into the art of drawing and painting, also quilting.  This is a quilt I made for me to laid on.

I'm angry today, about everything, 1, the White House, my friend, my up-stairs neighbor, not have money, running out of food, not knowing what's going to happen next month if my money don't come.  I need to calm down, I will try music and a game.

Today Mr. A did cook his own food, but than threw some of it in the sink, I asked him why, he said he didn't know why.  We hardly have food to eat, I only had a little money to buy something for us to eat, and he going to throw some of it away.  Who's crazy him or me.

Had to go to the Drug store, and the store today, got a ride with and old friend, she was at the Dollar Store too. I'm up there counting dimes and nickels trying to buy me and Bubba some food. I went to refill his and my medicine but only could get mines, because I didn't have to pay for it, I have to pay for his, I didn't have enough money to, told them to hold it for me, maybe next month one of us can pay for it. Hopefully we will get our little money.

Anyone that's reading this, please join so I can have more than one follower, and that being me.  Well the lady at the food stamps office was the one who made the mistake of putting my information in the same envelope as Bubba's so she couldn't find his information, until she actually looked for it. Yea I know, I'm just not going to say nothing.  I need people to pray that we that's gets a little money every month continue to get our little money. Pray that the men with the power to agree.

I'm mad because they seem that they wouldn't give Mr. A food stamps. I see about it today or Monday.  He went to his doctor today, they took blood, we'll know something soon about that.  Still praying for my check and everyone else, to come next month.  It will be a mess if they don't come.

Went to my doctor this morning, while I was there getting some test done, my phone rang, it was Mr. A's nurse, asking me to speak with him, I calmly say he's at home I am at the doctors.  She hangs up.  When I got home he tells me she did come by checking on him while I was out.  When I left this morning I didn't have time to do anything but get ready and go, told him before I left to get up and fix himself some breakfast, I didn't think he would he been acting like he can't, but he did, I saw he had not only cooked himself some eggs but made himself a cup of coffee. I said oh, so you can do your own cooking if you want to, than you will be doing it more in the future.

These are two of the dollhouse I made, but can't seem to sell, I also make quilts and can't sell.  I will put a picture of one of them, when I finished making the one I am working on, only made $20 on it, because I charged a low fee, mostly because it is for my sister. I have spend $35 on it already and it not done, need some more material and thread.

My son came to visit me today, he is such a great son, I love him so much, and like him too.  He's a hard working handsome caring man, and a great cook.  I visited my other  handsome loving father of four (son) the other day, he's doing alright him and his family very proud of him and my daughter-in-law.  My only beautiful, smart daughter don't like me to say much about her on line so this is the last time I will, I love her very much don't like to make her mad at me.  Mr. A. went to the eye doctor today, they said that his eye will heal in time, but that he's doing better than some, and that he is blessed that it wasn't worst.  He did good walking today, it was a short walk to the bus stop but a long walk for him.  He seems to be nicer to me these days, I believe he knows that I really will leave him, and that he kind of don't want this to happen, I say it's too late to try changing now, what you have been doing for years, isn't going to change my mind over a fews thank-you, and good-mornings.

Family

Well Mr. A.'s daughter and granddaughter came by to visit with him, I had walked over to two of my family members' house, and when I got back they where here.  They said that they will be sure to visit him when he moves, his daughter J, which I consider my daughter also, couldn't believe I was actually not going to be with him anymore, I don't think know one who knows me believe it yet, but time will show they all that I'm serious.

There just not anymore love, or passion in me for him, he killed it all over time.  Before he kills the respect and concern I have as a friend I must get away from him, get some distances, than I know I can keep the friendship with him. Right now just worried about my bills and things. I'm still praying that our checks come next month,

Had a bad morning but I feel fine now, felt sick around 4 something this morning got up finally at around 4:57 and, took my sugar it was 59, than got up and ate a sandwich and a oats bar. Felt better went back to sleep. Woke up again because the person up stairs was making too much noise for me to really sleep, so got up and watched some TV.  I sleep on the sofa now don't feel like I should sleep with Bubba anymore, no reason to, so I don't. He don't say anything about such things so I suppose it's alright with him too.  He's to move next month if or if not we both get our checks, because if we don't we will both be put out anyway.  I to my sister hopefully and I don't know who will let him stay with them in his family, he thought so much of them, I haven't seen no one but his four sons, one already told me he didn't want him to stay with him, so I don't know where he'll go. My people may and may not let him live with them. Everyone who gets a SSI, SSA or government check should start praying.
I only get 600, and something, maybe they will leave my little money alone. I just called the cable people to cut back my channels today, because I know I won't be able to paid it soon, and next month when he leaves I am  going to cut the whole thing off, just keeping it on now because he loves TV so much, like it's his only friend.

I don't know why know one is following me, I think I'm not interesting enough.  Well It's my true life, I just tell

it like it is.  Bubba got were he don't want to cook for himself, because he knows I will do it, just get angry because I know he can do it.  Well now I just go  ahead and fix him breakfast, lunch and dinner, so I won't have to worry that he didn't eat something.  I just gave him some lunch, and say to him as I sat the plate down, "here lazy man," and now he's in the kitchen fixing him something himself.  I been praying that my check, and his check, also every one that gets a SSI, SSA, gets their check next month, or I don't know what I will do or Bubba. Lets hope we all be alright, need the lords help big time these days.

I woke up this morning sick, trembling,  sweating, stomach felt sick and weak. I got up knowing this was signs of
low blood sugar, and that I needed to one check and see just how low it was, and two eat breakfast next.  Well
it was 52 and falling, so I hurried up and cooked myself breakfast. Which was just a cup of coffee, a small salad,
 some applesauce, and a bologna sandwich.  Felt much better after all this.  Since I was already up, I stayed up
and watched some TV.  I love to watch the news in the morning, kind of make me feel not alone in whatever I'm
going through because no matter what I'm going through there is always someone doing just as bad as I or better.  I like both stories, makes me feel like either way can come to me.  On another subject, Mr. B when he

can't remember something now, he just makes up something, and will blame someone else for what he forgot he did.  I wonder if that is something all stroke victims do.  I don't like it at all. Good news is he doing much better these days, about taking care of himself.  He not only dresses, clean, cooks, takes his med's, he also went for a walk without me or anyone telling him to, I think he will be just fine by-himself, but with a little help.

A nurse is going to continue visiting Bubba, for a bit, even when he moves to his place, and this makes me happy to know he will be getting that help, plus me, his sons and daughter will check up on him time to time. Mostly me.
I want to make sure he is doing fine now and in the future.  Although we are no longer together, I will always be his friend, and I respect him enough to want him to do great, I even hope that love will come into his life one day.
This is my dream for him to be happy, healthy and independent.

My internet just got back on tonight around 11:10 pm. I sure missed it very much, you don't know how much you like something until it's gone.  I wonder if that's what my x-man will feel by next month when he moves out.  Went to spend sometime with my daughter today, gave her a birthday card for her birthday, which was this month. Had fun just wasn't enough time in a day.

Moving On

I'm ready to moving on with my life, by-myself.  Next month is when Bubba moves into his own place, and I will be here by-my-self, I'm going to love it, I know, I wish he was all ready in his house.  A friend of mines invited me and my daughter to her birthday party, and I not sure I should go yet, I guess I'm afraid I would have to much fun, before I think it's respectable to have fun before Bubba leave.  I'm thinking about it, not that I think I would try to talk seriously to someone I know I wouldn't. But I just don't think it's right not yet.  He seemed to take it very well that we are no longer together, just living together until he moves.  I did see him looking at me funny the other day don't know what it meant I didn't ask either.

Catlion9.blogspot.com: Father, Dad or What

Catlion9.blogspot.com: Father, Dad or What: "I had about three step Dads in my life, one was a real father in every sense of the word, and a real man. He use to walk for miles to visit..."